A Suicide Note

Please don’t get perturbed by the title of this article, more than a “suicide note”, it is a note on suicide.

I, along with many others, have been deeply moved by the sudden suicide of a famous Bollywood star, in the peak of his career. Questions started cropping in my mind. What and why? News says that he has been undergoing treatment for depression for last few months. Was this suicide an affect of that? No one can answer all these questions. But we can ponder over a single connecting thread over many suicides, “depression”.

In our society, depression is a negative term. Once you are in depression, people look at you with the corner of their eyes and general belief is that depression is a symptom of mentally weak people. We are so scared about the societal issues related to depression, that we even hesitate to take professional help. Because our society believes that once depressed, you are either “mental” or “to be mad”.

We forget that as my physical health goes through ups and downs, my mental health also can go through a roller coaster ride. In my personal like, I have felt depressed so many times. My anxiety and depression syndrome were so high one time, that I had to take anti-depression drug for some time to come out of that. I had to also take professional counselling sessions. During these bouts of depression, I felt suicidal, too. But professional help, timely medication and support from family helped me to overcome those thoughts.

But what caused those depressions? Reasons were many. Threat in job place, uncertainties about flow of income, sudden dejection by close friends, tussle over family matters, and so on and so forth. Whatever has been the reason, I have made it a point to speak to someone or other about it. Though the person could not have helped me directly, but I could get away from the feeling of a pressure cooker by venting out.

Among above, the feeling of dejection had been the most difficult to manage. When you feel dejected, you suddenly feel quite out of place. Dejection again, has different faces. Someone close having a misunderstanding with you stops talking to you and you feel dejected. Someone influences your other friends to avoid you, you feel dejected. Someone suddenly blocks you in Whatsapp, you feel dejected. In the world of social media, someone avoids seeing your posts, you feel dejected. All these dejection generate a “left alone” feeling for you. When you feel alone in this society, in this crowd of human beings, you start feeling unwanted. An unwanted feeling is dangerous. It has a rippling effect. It leads to suicidal thoughts.

As a human being I am vulnerable to all the above. Every individual has his or her own natural pace and style to overcome these shocks. But one thing I have realized, that had these above feelings pushed me towards suicide, would anyone get bothered about it? None. That’s the fact of the matter. So, I will have to live, I will have to face all these and still sail through. That’s a complete life. What is needed is some good pals, who can lend you a patient hearing. And believe me, all studies, all suicide helplines have proved that a patient hearing can save a life.

Next time, when someone narrates a personal problem with you, please lend him or her an ear of empathy. May be, your little time can save a precious life. World is full of depression. If someone wants a support during his mental agony, as a human being cant we lend our shoulder? Is this too much for us?

I am not sure, whether the actor in question, could find such a person to vent out his depression? Police reports says that he made calls to two persons before taking the final step. Being the dead of night, no one responded to his calls. One of the persons called him back in the morning, but he was no more by that time. May be, he has been desperately looking for a buddy to narrate his agony before ending himself. A timely help could have saved him.

Lets listen to people. May be you will be able to save a life. Become a life savior, may be unknowingly. Just listen !!